I was just 17 when my dad died. Unexpected in the night, my daddy went to be with Jesus exactly one month before my high school graduation.
I have lived more of my life without him than I did with him. And no matter how old I get I still wish teen girls wouldn’t lose their daddies.
I have thought about him a lot this year for some reason. Maybe it is because I’m the same age now as he was when he died. Just 41. Maybe it is because I’m getting to enjoy this grandma role and I think about what a great grandpa he would have been.
Last Friday was his birthday. I always think of him on December 16.
I’ve been slowly doing some cleaning out, some simplifying, some getting rid of stuff around my house lately. A mini project purge if you will. I recently tackled my closet. And in the corner of my closet there sat a box marked '”memorabilia” - except I think I spelled it wrong on the box. I wrote that word on that box over 20 years ago and I’ve been hauling it around and letting it sit in corners of closets for all these years.
I decided it was time to go through that box of memorabilia and see what was worth keeping. There were lots of letters from my sister (which mostly made me laugh), graduation announcements, even my graduation cap, pictures of high school days and old birthday cards. And right there in between old report cards and my SAT scores I found two hand written notes.
In the handwriting I so distinctly remember this is what one said:
“Dear Jamie-
I hope you are having a very happy birthday. My little girl is becoming a lady and you are making me very proud.
I hope this day brings you happiness and I want you to remember that I love you.
Love, Dad”
No fancy card just simple business stationary with words penned in black ink. This note given by my dad to me on my 17th birthday.
I had completely forgotten about these notes. What a treasure to uncover. A reminder of a father’s love.
The SAT scores, the report cards, the graduation cap – those were tossed. But these notes…they are gifts.
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Linking today with Tuesdays Unwrapped and On Your Heart Tuesdays
12 comments:
Oh, Jamie! And what a gift it is! And to have his words that he is proud of you reverberate through time, is a gift from your Heavenly Father.
I'm so sorry you lost your precious dad at such a young age. I lost my mom at 19 but she was sick my whole growing up years. And I know I still miss her.
To have come across this note, truly is a treasure. I hope you will put it in a beautiful frame and hang it in your bedroom or somwhere special.
Who doesn't relate to this? I lost my brother in a car accident. I was 25, he 28. I remember thinking at the funeral, "I will live more years without him than I did with him." And the notes, the handwriting? That and my dreams are the closest things to alive that I have of him.
He died 17 years ago, and last Saturday "I Miss You Most at Christmas Time" came on the car radio. I burst into tears and didn't even realize I had been thinking about him.
Merry Christmas to you.
Oh Jamie. I'm crying reading your post. What a gift and a heartbreak all rolled into one. Thank you so much for sharing this with us today. Just, amazing.
Such a treasure to have snippets of his writing to you.
Jamie, I love the honest, heartfelt sharing about your Dad and losing him when you were so long. I am sure that it has been a big part of your story and the way it seems he loved you has come back to you all these years through the love of the Abba Father...your Dad sees, you know, and loves all that these 41 years have brought you. much love from a knowing heart, abby:}
oh, I just had a similar experience watching home movies this past weekend of my grandpa. Those sudden reminders of who it is that you lost. Its almost jarring to come upon them. So beautifyl, so treasured...yet, raw.
What a gift. This made me cry because I love my father so much. He writes short notes like that...still to this day...no news...just an I love you. I'm glad you found this special message to warm your heart.
what a treasure to find!
I have been kind of not looking forward to going to my parents next week....flying at Christmas is horrible, it's really the only week Steve and I get to really relax since the church closes, etc. But after reading this, I realize how thankful I am that I am able to go visit my parents...and my attitude needs to change!
I think it is the most beautiful thing that your dad wrote you letters! Thanks for sharing this with us. And for letting us get a small introduction to your incredible father.
Girl - I am bawling. My daddy passed away 2 months a go today. And I was fortunate, I know, to have my daddy for that long. I'm so glad you found that note. How precious. The day after my daddy died I found something in his hand-writing and I wept like crazy. My dad had been sick for awhile and I hadn't seen his handwriting in a long time. Precious memories! Merry Christmas sweet friend.
This is so beautiful. Thank you so much for sharing this. It helps me think about my legacy with my children. Jamie, I am so sorry about the loss of your father.
It is a beautiful post Jamie...great to have good memories of our parents and those little touches left from them..
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