My Thoughts on the New Year

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2012 has ushered itself right in, I suppose there was no stopping it.  I sit and reflect on the year just lived and wonder about the days ahead.

New years bring change – that is always the case.  What I wonder isn’t so much what will come, but how will I respond to what lies ahead? 

Christmas was nice – really nice – here at my house.  It wasn’t the stuff and the things and decorations that made it so.  Because stuff, things, and decorations were minimal this year.  The pace, the family, the friends – I enjoyed all of it.  I slowed myself down and I soaked it in. 

And the New Year has started off just right.  Going to church on the first day of the year, it was perfect.  To worship the One who knows what this year holds, to set my heart and mind on the One who has a plan, it was exactly what my heart needed at the very start of a fresh new year.

When I say Christmas was nice and the New Year just right I don’t mean easy.  There has been hard stuff for this mama heart of mine to endure.  But the truth is God.  He is right there with me in the very midst of it all.  He isn’t distant and watching me from far off.  He is walking this very path right along with me and I’ve got a promise – He will never leave me or forsake me. 

As I look back over 2011 it is that very promise that has been made so real to me this year.  And that is full of hope, that is nice and just right.  

I’m not bounding into 2012 feverishly.  I’m being slow and thoughtful, pondering the One who is the hope giver.  I’m seeking the One who holds the entire year, all of its days and every-single-minute.  Not always easy, but always good.

Tell me friend, how is your New Year starting out?

Notes From My Dad

I was just 17 when my dad died.  Unexpected in the night, my daddy went to be with Jesus exactly one month before my high school graduation. 

I have lived more of my life without him than I did with him.  And no matter how old I get I still wish teen girls wouldn’t lose their daddies.

I have thought about him a lot this year for some reason.  Maybe it is because I’m the same age now as he was when he died.  Just 41.  Maybe it is because I’m getting to enjoy this grandma role and I think about what a great grandpa he would have been.
 

Last Friday was his birthday.  I always think of him on December 16.

I’ve been slowly doing some cleaning out, some simplifying, some getting rid of stuff around my house lately.  A mini project purge if you will.  I recently tackled my closet.  And in the corner of my closet there sat a box marked '”memorabilia” - except I think I spelled it wrong on the box.  I wrote that word on that box over 20 years ago and I’ve been hauling it around and letting it sit in corners of closets for all these years.

I decided it was time to go through that box of memorabilia and see what was worth keeping.  There were lots of letters from my sister (which mostly made me laugh), graduation announcements, even my graduation cap, pictures of high school days and old birthday cards.  And right there in between old report cards and my SAT scores I found two hand written notes.

In the handwriting I so distinctly remember this is what one said:

“Dear Jamie-
       I hope you are having a very happy birthday.  My little girl is becoming a lady and you are making me very proud.
     I hope this day brings you happiness and I want you to remember that I love you. 
                                                                                                    Love, Dad”

No fancy card just simple business stationary with words penned in black ink.  This note given by my dad to me on my 17th birthday. 

I had completely forgotten about these notes.  What a treasure to uncover.  A reminder of a father’s love. 

The SAT scores, the report cards, the graduation cap – those were tossed.  But these notes…they are gifts.

::::: 

Linking today with Tuesdays Unwrapped and On Your Heart Tuesdays

A Message of Love and Counting Gifts {236-262}

With a fresh week before me I sit with the glow of the tree lights and I reflect on the week just lived and I think about how I want to live the days in front of me.   

The week started with a doctor appointment for my daughter.  My husband, myself and my girl we headed out of town, just the three of us.  There was good car conversation and a stop for lunch.  The doctor he talked of surgery and 2 months of crutches.  And God -- He was right there with us in the midst of it all.

The weekend days have been filled with our kids and little ones.  There has been baking, and meal sharing, and lots of “watch this grandma”.  The little guy he ice skates perfectly in his socks across the tile floor.  And the baby she needed a nap and there is no better way to go sleep than in the arms of her grandma. 

There has been reading of Christmas stories and lots of talk of baby Jesus.  The house was without outside lights until our kids wanted to surprise their dad and get some lights strung.  And my boy he said he always wanted to climb around on the roof.  I was too nervous to watch, so I hunkered down indoors.

There has been driving to look at Christmas lights, and singing of Christmas songs.  Christmas movies on Netflix, some shopping and gift wrapping too.  And a special delivery of my mom’s biscotti on a Sunday afternoon.  That called for a 3:00 pot of coffee and it wasn’t even de-caff.

There was Away in the Manger and Silent Night.  There was worship and a message of love that stirred my heart. 

Oh how I want to love.  Really love.  Just going through the motions it leaves me sounding like the clanking of symbols.  Loving extravagantly, without thought of what is in it for me, but with a pure heart, a heart that loves Him – it is my prayer.

But for right now, until that completeness, we have three things to do to lead us toward that consummation: Trust steadily in God, hope unswervingly, love extravagantly. And the best of the three is love.  I Cor. 13:13 MSG

The house is quiet now but that hasn’t been the norm for this weekend.  It has been full of loud and every bit of it a gift.  And God -- He was right there in the midst.

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Linking up with: 
Michelle’s Hear it on Sunday, Use it on Monday
A Holy Experience – as I continue to count toward 1,000 gifts  

Five Minute Friday :: Connected

Today I’m happily linking up with The Gypsy Mama for Five Minute Friday. 
The rules are simple, write for just 5 minutes on the prompt she gives. 
Here we go.  Ready?  Begin.
:::
Connected

I’ve always been one to crave connections.  Friends, family, other bloggers I’ve never met in real life, even the lady at the grocery store I want them all to like me.  I want strong relationships.

Sometimes those connections come easy but not always.  I find that relationships require effort and sometimes putting out the effort is tough.  What if they don’t really get me?  What if they have enough friends already?  What if we don’t agree on something?

All the questions get my insecurities all flared up.  And sometimes rather than connect I keep quiet.  I’m afraid maybe rejection is waiting to pounce and instead of risking rejection I decide not to reach out.

But connection comes with the reaching out.  The call, the text, the comment, the kind words, the smile – I’m sure there are others waiting and wishing for connection too. 

Maybe I should be the one to take the first step?

:::
The End.

My five minutes is up, but speaking of connection, I wanted to add this…

 

(in)courage is hosting an (in)Real Life get together.  I think it sounds like the perfect way to connect.  I’ll be hosting one here in my town – check it out and find a meet-up close to you.

19 Years

It was 19 years ago she was born.  Nineteen years she has brought joy, and love, and laughter, lots of smiles, and bundles of happiness.  Her heart is big and full of compassion.

Lots of people say she looks just like her mama.  My heart warms and I smile big every single time I hear those words.

I’m so very thankful that God chose me to be her mama.  My life is blessed beyond measure. 

Today is her birthday and I sure hope it is the sweetest one she has ever had.

May the Lord bless you
and protect you.
May the Lord smile on you
and be gracious to you.
May the Lord show you his favor
and give you his peace.
Numbers 6:24-26 (NLT)